When writing an essay when is the proper time to use whom over who?

Read this excerpt from "the light of gandhi's lamp" by hilary kromberg inglis, in which she describes driving to the police station where her sister is being detained. to avoid looking at the blackened windows at the top of the building and thinking about the history of who had died or been tortured there, i always looked instead at the little chinese restaurant on the opposite side of the road. how does this passage affect the text? it conveys, with great subtlety, the conflict she felt over having a sister who would break the law and end up in the custody of the police. it conveys, without any implied moral judgment, that those who fought against apartheid considered themselves to be soldiers in a just war. it conveys, with an extended metaphor, the idea that being detained by the police in this society was regarded as a badge of honor. it conveys, with direct language, the view held by many anti-apartheid activists that the police often acted in brutal and unlawful ways.

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Read the excerpt from "home front diary." jimmy simmons stopped by today to tell me that he had enlisted in the army. he asked me if i would write to him, and i said i would. i told him that i've been writing to my uncle arthur and susan's cousin john for about a year, and as an experienced correspondent i had some advice about all the censorship. "don't write down any information about your location or the number of soldiers in your unit because the censors will cut all of that away," i said. "in my experience, loose lips not only sink ships, they make letters look like snowflake decorations! ” well, he belly laughed over that one. how is the author's perspective different from jimmy's? the author has been to war and she can give jimmy advice. jimmy has become a soldier and does not believe the author’s advice. the author has experience writing to soldiers but jimmy does not. jimmy has more experience at letter writing than the author.