What does "selfishness is one of the qualities apt to inspire love" mean?

"Selfishness is one of the qualities apt to inspire love" is Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804 – 1864) quote.

Selfishness is one of the qualities which creates a suitable environment for love to flourish. Apparently a lover is selfless in his/her efforts to love his/her beloved. But when we analyze it on a bit deeper level, we find that it was actually selfishness.

Explanation:

There are two ways to suggest how selfishness inspires love.

1- Only a selfish a person would like his beloved to be with him only, to talk to him, to smile for him. In most of the cases we like our beloved to be our life partner, and it hurts us the most if he or she chooses to be with someone else.

2-  In some cases we sacrifice our pleasures, time, wealth, in short, everything just to please our beloved. Although it seems selflessness, on deeper level it is selfishness. We are just trying to satisfy and please ourselves by pleasing our beloved. In this case we seek our pleasure through our beloved's happiness.

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