Hiii, I need a good example of a personal narrative. HELP plz

1. Have a good hook that's all it takes here a example!

Explanation:kitchen, I sit back down once I have my water I was needing. I look at the clock and think to myself “It’s Already 7:56?” I go to my grandmother I was visiting so we could catch up, we just kept talking, the usual. It’s now almost midnight I stay up pretty late we both did since she didn’t have work the next day. Later on, she has this cool security feature that can tell when the backdoor and front door open. My grandmother works at the animal shelter so we have about 6 dogs at the back of the house. My grandmother and I Heard the system go “Back door open.’ Over and over again soon it was quiet, we thought as it as nothing since it was storming. I say   “let’s see if the dogs are okay.” They were very much upset they were barking and growling. We look my grandmother get’s in front of me and says “Stay here and don’t move.” I was obviously like weird but okay. I look to where she is walking there is a man at the back door. Dressed in all black, very tall, looked young to me. He was trying to break in I cried I was frightened; my grandmother insisted for me to get her phone and call 911. I did then she said “Call Donny” Donny is her husband. I called him told him what was happening. 911 Came over, right when they pulled in, He was gone as if he just vanished. The cops searched around the backyard it was bout 100 ft long and 100 ft wide. No trace of him soon after the cops they all told me this “you’re very brave for doing this” Since I was pretty young maybe nine or ten. Once I was home I told my parents all about the incident. A few days later we found out it was a friend of Donny’s This was so unfortunate and one of the most terrify moments of my life. I’m very thankful me and my grandmother did not get hurt.                                        

You can use this one if you like it took me a minute to make, this is only 366 word's (put anything you would like for extra detail!) I have no idea how yours is!

Brainliest?