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English, 28.05.2020 18:59 Crtive6538

Weird Dinner by L. L. Heberlein

Four slices of lunch meat, two each. The last two water crackers in the package, stale. A can of lukewarm Sprite—poured into two bright green juice glasses. One chicken nugget divided carefully down the middle, then again, to create quarters, which we choose playground-style. His. Mine. His. Mine. We take turns so it’s ‘fairsies.’

The microwave beeps long and loud, letting us know that the leftover black beans and rice are warmed and irradiated. “That’s a reassuring sound,” he says. Ten more seconds, just to hear the beep again.
Elation to find the can of Kraft Easy Cheese, until we remember the crackers are gone, and we have nothing but each other’s tongues to squeeze it on. He finds a can of black olives, pitted, and proceeds to fill each one with a squirt of cheese.

A tiny can of tomato paste. Not sauce. Paste. But it doesn’t matter because we’re out of pasta,

He discovers if you eat the black olives with the tomato paste it kind of tastes like lasagna. We divvy the remainder of the can down to the last odd olive. He offers it to me. Gentleman. I offer to split it with him. “Fairsies.”

The earth rumbles. Then the emergency power cuts, and the rest of the lights go out. Alarms blare, long and loud, in the distance. We share our last olive in the dark

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1. Why were the two guys in the story having this “weird dinner” together?

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Weird Dinner by L. L. Heberlein

Four slices of lunch meat, two each. The last two water...
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