subject
English, 03.06.2020 13:00 jarryd4202

I wrote these poems and looking for feedback. please comment suggestions on how i can make them better. (when typing the lines often where to long, so i put parentheses around the lines that went over one line on this but are one line.)

twins

(we have shared everything)
since before birth.
never just one,
forever known as two.

we will never know the joy
(of having our own birthday,)
for it will always be shared

(years later they will realize,)
we they once compared
(are different as summer and winter. theyll see)
(different people standing before them)
not the same person
they all expect us to be.

skittles

“i love you” i said
(“happy birthday and merry christmas”)
“i will miss you”

he mumbled a reply
(he tried his best, that i know for sure)
(“i love you” is what i'm sure he said)

(through the tears, i smiled back)
(not wanting him to see my pain)
(it was nothing compared to his)

(i put my hand on his, still holding back the tears)
(he was fighting hard, but it wasn't enough)
(i said goodbye once more and left the room)

(i went upstairs where everyone was sitting silent)
all doing as i was,
holding back the tears

(then after what felt like hours we had to go)
(the weight was to much, i was just a kid)
(i went downstairs and said my last goodbye)

(i went out the door with a heavy heart knowing it could be the last thing i say)
(“skittles” i said pointing to a parked car)
(he looks, smiles, and mumbles what i know to be “skittles”)

(i walk past the yellow car and think back to happier times)
(i climb into my dads truck, leaving my mom with her dad)
still silent, we pulled away

(i had fun with my cousins trying to forget about everything,)
but i can't
(i know it happened as soon as my dad answered the call.)

(still fighting back the tears, i smile and continue our game)
we left soon after
i knew what was coming

(we walked back into that door)
(into that room with an empty bed)
(my moms greets us and tells us what happened)

(it breaks my heart but still i smile through the pain)
(it's okay i thought, he's no longer suffering)
i kept telling myself that

(the rest of break was a blur)
i only cried at night
(i could not break my moms heart even more)

always

soon the door will close
on promises.
forever and always
will no longer prevail,
just give it time.

(relations once cherished and loved)
(will not last on a promise of always.)
(they will get ripped apart and go their separate ways.)

you will never be ready.
(the always you once believed,)
(will prove to come to an end. )

(the importance lies not in the promise, )
but in the memories.
hold on to them -
before it takes again.

thank you :)
i hope you like them

ansver
Answers: 1

Another question on English

question
English, 21.06.2019 16:30
Excerpt from the ultimate fighting championship mary o'dell 1 american interest in mixed martial arts is growing. both male and female athletes are invited to compete, although this sport is not recommended for the prima donna. this full contact fighting combines various martial arts techniques so fighters with different styles can compete against each other. this intriguing sport has convinced more than one athlete that he is not, in fact, the alpha and the omega! many people think that all combative sports should be strictly monitored and regulated by state commissions. it is obvious that the ultimate fighting championship (ufc) is an organization that promotes combative athletic events. state athletic commissions should strictly monitor and regulate the ufc.select the rebuttal statement that best refutes the viewpoint in section one. a) it is necessary to oversee the athletes involved in mixed martial arts. b) it is unnecessary to oversee the athletes involved in mixed martial arts. c) it is necessary for athletes involved in mixed martial arts to self-regulate. d) one distinctive feature of mixed martial arts is the combination of various techniques.
Answers: 3
question
English, 21.06.2019 18:00
What is the meaning of the word checking as it is used in this sentence from the second paragraph of the passage?
Answers: 3
question
English, 22.06.2019 02:30
Need the answer asap! read the sentence from the declaration of independence. which idea does this sentence best to develop ? that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of those ends, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government a) governments ultimately have the power to determine what rights the people have. b) revolting against the government should not be taken lightly. c) the colonists should seperate from great britain and create their own government. d) it is self evident that people have inalienable rights
Answers: 1
question
English, 22.06.2019 04:40
Whats the importance of gaining a general understanding of and interpretation of the work of literature. explain what the importance is to me
Answers: 2
You know the right answer?
I wrote these poems and looking for feedback. please comment suggestions on how i can make them bett...
Questions
question
Mathematics, 19.05.2020 03:17
question
Physics, 19.05.2020 03:17
question
Mathematics, 19.05.2020 03:17
question
Computers and Technology, 19.05.2020 03:18
Questions on the website: 13722360