What is a critical element of discriptive writing

our founding fathers introduced the revolutionary idea that each person's desire to pursue their idea of happiness was not self-indulgence, but a necessary driver of a prosperous society. they created a government to defend that right for everyone.

i am a strong (insert gender here) my father and his brother were to, they were killed not by the cold, not by the bears or wolves that roam our streets at night, but by the   bolsheviks. we must stand up and fight communism or we all end up dead, starved dehydrated, enslaved. the time is now we must fight. lenin is a dangerous man but he can be stopped. so my comrades we shall siege there weapons tonight on ward. (rides away with ak(not invented yet) and sword in hand while on bear into snowstorm)