ASAP please paraphrase the 4 lines will mark brainliest if correct

The original piece:

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day:

The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play,

And then when Cooney died at first, Barrows did the same,

A pall-like silence fell upon the patrons of the game

My paraphrased piece:

The viewpoint wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day: The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play, And at that point when Cooney passed on at to begin with, Pushcarts did the same, A pall-like hush fell upon the benefactors of the diversion

or

The point of view wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day: the score was four to two, with just one more inning to go, and at that point when Cooney moved on to begin with, Pushcarts did the same, A pale-like hush descended on the diversion benefactors.

i tried-

each morning i wrote my name

on the dusty cabinet, then crossed

the dining table in script, scrawled

in capitals on the backs of chairs,

practicing signatures like scales

while mother followed squirting

linseed from a burping can

judge is the correct answer