Any bts army here who's free to talk? I know this isn't the best place to talk but I've got no choice. My mom's sitting across my room and she's watching me doing my homework. She doesn't want me to listen to any bts songs or get involve with kpop(specifically bts) 'cause she thinks it distracts me from doing a great job in school when she's the actual reason why I'm loosing control over myself. She always talks about my body in EVERY argument. I'm too fat, too tall etc. Namjoon is and has been my comfort idol since I stanned them and I still listen to 'mono' when I'm alone. Whenever I see the moon, I've always thought that it's Namjoon(when I see a blue moon, I always think of Jonghyun from SHINee) then I'll start talking about how my day went and after that, I'll ask myself if I love myself(of course it's a no) I'm like- THE most quiet person but I talk a lot when I'm alone. Anyways- the thing is that I just don't know how to deal with this. I feel like I should run but a part of me wants to stay. Another part of me wants to k!ll myself one day but I also want to meet BTS or even just Namjoon before I d!e. I'm 13 and people underestimate me but it won't stop me from doing what I love(well, except if my mom knows)