Choose an article from the Onion, about which to write an analysis essay. Use at least two of the satirical rhetorical strategies you have learned. Don’t forget to follow the basic essay format for an analysis essay. Remember to cite your source and your article!

read this passage from the crisis. what rationale is paine using for going to war with great britain? my own line of reasoning is to myself as straight and clear as a ray of light. not all the treasures of the world, so far as i believe, could have induced me to support an offensive war, for i think it murder; but if a thief breaks into my house, burns and destroys my property, and kills or threatens to kill me, or those that are in it, and to "bind me in all cases whatsoever" to his absolute will, am i to suffer it? what signifies it to me, whether he who does it is a king or a common man; my countryman or not my countryman; whether it be done by an individual villain, or an army of them? if we reason to the root of things we shall find no difference; neither can any just cause be assigned why we should punish in the one case and pardon in the other.

it is waged war against an army of countrymen

it would lead to independence from britain

it would be an offensive war

it would be a defensive war

the narrator is saying that the old lady made her feel uncomfortable. you know this because they say "i found that rather irksome", "perhaps it was her being so upright and trim", and "i don't think it was that, because i thought that quaintly pleasant." hope this !

by our hard work

for that

it would be d because the however is more proper and the comma is placed in the right spot