What is one reason Steinbeck uses parallelism in the grapes of wrath

Ihave to find 4 errors in each day of the week diary post. friday today was the last day of the school week so i are happy! mum made pizza to dinner. i really like mums pizzas. we watched a dvd after dinner. it was quite funny but my brother fall asleep on the sofa and didn’t see the end of the movie!

Which sentence should be revised to include vivid imagery

Even the insistent cough of the woman next to him wasn't enough to draw his eyes away from the tiny type of the ancient book its pages were brittle and felt like they could crumble at the slightest disturbance he noticed the musty odor if each page as he carefully it over.