Please tell me what you think of my argumentative essay! Please Rate my essay, and tell me if it sounds good...And sorry i haven't figured out the Turn Back yet, but if you have a good idea for the turn back then tell me it.
My Essay:
Introduction
Hook: Are video games harmful?
Background Information: After a long day at school, nothing beats grabbing your electronic device and playing a video game. Sixty percent of Americans play video games on a daily basis. Although playing video games can seem to be a harmless way to unwind and relax, they have harmful impacts on your physical and mental health.-Thesis statement/claim
Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence: First of all, video games have a violent influence on people.
Evidence: According to Emily Sohn, “Violence is one of the biggest concerns...Some parents and teachers blame school shootings and other aggressive behavior on media violence-as seen in TV programs, movies, and video games.”
Bridge: If children often play video games that are violent, or are drawn to violent video games, it may cause them to think that violence is ok. Or if the person gets angry very easily, the anger may lead to violence.
Evidence: Emily continues to go on and explain that, “people who are already aggressive...are more drawn to violent games and TV shows.”
Bridge: Children that are more aggressive and competitive than others tend to like more violent games.
Body Paragraph 2
Topic Sentence: Secondly, playing too many video games per day can lead to lack of sleep.
Evidence: According to the text The Violent Side of Video Games, you could develop the “mean world syndrome.”
Bridge: If you develop the “mean world syndrome” and believe that the world is a bad place, it may cause you to think you're not safe, and the world is not safe.
Evidence: Emily delineates, “I still have trouble falling asleep if I watch the news on TV or read the newspaper right before going to bed.”
Bridge: In addition, watching something with violence right before you go to bed is not a good idea.
Body Paragraph 3
Counterclaim: Critics argue that video games are good for you, and inspire learning. Although, children don’t need to play violent video games, because the violence in games comes to reality, and causes children to believe they are not secure.
Turn back:
Conclusion
Thesis statement: Video games are not beneficial to our mental or physical health.
Summary of evidence: Violent video games can cause aggression, unsafety, anxiety, and violence in reality.
Last thought: Are video games harmful or harmless