~GIVING BRAINLEST~ Pleaseee help *for school* I need help building on what I already have

I just need help with this part it's for one of the dreams this is what I have so far: It was a dark and gloomy night where she was by herself exploring her destination when she bumped into someone who looked familiar but didn’t know who it was so kept walking saying sorry and moving along their different paths.

If you want to see what the story is about look at the picture:

what do u need done u didnt give us any questions to answer or a format of writing

Explanation:

Good concept but needs better execution

Explanation:

You use the wrong pronunciation and you go to quickly over the story.  It felt like it was over to quickly.  Im confused on who the main character is in the story so try to make that a little more clear by giving the main character more attention and detail in the story.   Also  don't put the actual number but spell it if the number is less than 10.  Try to put jucier detail into the story because the story goes by way to fast.  If the female is the main character in the story then focus on her view point of the kidnapping than doing it from Tony's viewpoint of the events.