Correct the title in this sentence in british literature, i read lord of the flies for my research project

the black night was split open like the coconut

it says that it was totally black in the mind of a person but suddenly his mind opened like a coconut with the sweetness of the coconut water and the white color inside it.

or

the black night was thrown like a coconut and it slit apart with its sweet water coming out .

technical documents should be clear and precise. basically, clarity is the key element in a successful technical document.

hmm, sadly there is no dialogue. there is no place in the story where he is talking to anyone. it's more of just describing what he eats and where he sleeps. you have to become anne frank, give details of where you are, what other folks look like, how the environment is. have a little bit of dialogue tell of what people are specifically saying. anne frank talked about her entire household including the people, the objects, the lighting, the food they ate, and even the smell in the air. there has to be more to your diary entries, the whole story in its current state is only about peter van daan, the food, the sounds, and where he sleeps. also he seems to be writing only once a year yet more than that happened from day to day. for a friend, i can you write it out, if you want.