What is "hello. how are you today? " in german?

Ergänze die richtige form von "gefallen": seine spitzen bemerkungen über meine freundin haben mir nicht .

Translate this meine eier sind blau

15 can someone translate this paragraph to german? (i created all and the incident went so complicated so most of them might not be senseful but the only important thing is translating not harmony of the text.)