I have a question, is it ok to hide emotions for around 3 and 1/2 years to be perfect? Is it ok to secretly hate yourself and wish you were better, or good enough?

Not really...

Explanation:

When you hide your emotions no one will no ow you are feeling and how to help you. If it's serious then you can develop some "problems". I would advise you to show your emotions. But you don't have to show all of them, truthful I only show the emotions that I need people to see, any other is just tucked away.

Hope this helps

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