Love so sour love so sweet
a love so deep that it can't be beat
a touch so sensual
a touch so soft
there be despair if it were lost
a lustful whisper
a breath of life
a shadow of darkness
fell over my night
and the sky opens up to reveal
radiant shows of images so real
they day we met our fist kiss
the night we sleep then all was dismissed

what do u think? should I rewrite it? how can I make it better? also please rate my poem 1-10