Highlight any sentences or parts of sentences where the tone and style do not fit the audience. Why did you pick those sentences or sections? Explain how the writer could
rewrite one of the sentences to improve it.

This is the story of Oak Island and the Money Pit. Oak Island is an island off the coast of
Nova Scotia in Canada. If history is correct, it’s an island that boasts several
unsuccessful attempts to find out if there’s buried treasure on the island. Lives have
even been lost trying to find out what the Money Pit is for, and if it really contains
money. How did anyone figure out that there might be treasure buried in this pit in the first
place? Well, I’ll tell you.
The first people to dig there were actually three teenagers: Daniel McGinnis and two of
his friends, John Smith and Anthony Vaughan. In 1795 they saw a low spot on the
island with a tackle block hanging in the tree above it. They got the idea to dig the spot
and discovered layers of stuff that only a human being could have put there. But they
stopped digging when they got too deep to do it themselves. The next time a company
dug down to about 80 feet, they found a stone with symbols on it, and they thought the
symbols meant there was money buried farther down. But when they came back, the
hole was flooded! From then on, it was called the Money Pit.
It turns out that the shaft they dug connects with the ocean around the island in a flood
trap that looks like it was built by men. Plenteous people since then have tried to dig
deeper, and several people have lost their lives. Every time someone tries to figure out
how to get down there, the shaft collapses or some other accident happens. There’s a
theory that Captain Kidd buried his treasure down there, but there’s no proof! There are
tours of Oak Island now.