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English, 14.01.2020 10:31 KatieQ1

Which one is the best? /critiques

my anxious waltz

my slow dance was one i paced alone.
my heart spins with the tempo as my mind beats with anxiety.
my left hand is on my own waist and my right hand leads my own steps.
my steps trip over themselves and my head rests on the shoulder of anxiety.
he takes my hand and starts leading.
my feet only drag behind his unbearable force that rushes the dance floor.
his feet stomps to the beat and his legs waltz with me to the song.
the glimmering lights on my cheek twinkle to the piano.
each chord reflects the clear droplets on my face, in my eyes, and on the floor.
the gentleman holds me close,
my body only weighs down next to his mass
and i give.

painted tears

painted tears
on your cheeks
looks like glass
but causes streaks

hands in the air
reached for god
you sing a prayer
while i hear the sob

a broken vase
to reveal the flaw
i rip the lace
to free his claw

i tried to leave
your dance with death
but his loveless cleave
had taken my breath

hidden swears

hidden swears
are what you speak
i see your glares,
my mind is bleak.

one more time
you call my name
you say the rhyme
to cause me pain.

feeling trapped,
to stop my tears
my heart is wrapped
from the one i fear

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Which one is the best? /critiques

my anxious waltz

my slow dance was one i p...
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