Look for comma splices and fussed sentences. dear ms. smither, you for speaking with me about the position of accounts payable manager, i enjoyed meeting with you and the members of your team i am excited to work with such a great team. this job fits my qualifications i work independently and am a self starter. i feel strongly that i will be a great contributor to your firm i hope that you agree. you for your time and consideration i look forward to hearing from you. sincerely, william r. jones